Miriam, you're doing it wrong

*** oh my god. I wrote this so long ago and never published it! So long, in fact, I refer to Miriam as 1 year old and none of this is still true! whoops! well enjoy. I don't think the story has a shelf life. Should still be good, if not a bit stale ***

Miriam is so so so brilliant. She's clever; does very well communicating her wants and needs; easy to understand; patient about her limitations. She's seriously an exceptional child (says the mother) and I hope everyone reading this can be lucky enough to interact with her beautiful personality. 

But. But. She's still a one year old and doesn't quite grasp why or how we do the things she sees us doing. And so she's often doing them wrong. 

Here's a list of examples I've compiled, addressed to Miriam. 

Miriam, my love, You're Doing It Wrong

Using an umbrella: Get under the umbrella. Under. 

Trying to climb over the back of the couch: You feel you need to start from a lie down position on the seat cushions and climb your toes up first. Entertaining and painful to watch. And slow. So slow. 

Using binoculars: No. No. Just no. Backwards and pointed into the couch with your eyes sealed shut.

Sleeping: anywhere but here my dear

Playing with the dollhouse: No it's not your house. 

Giving baby a hug: Looks like choking. Probably feels like it too. 

Eating pizza: starts from the mid point, upside down.

Applying lip balm: you missed your lips but got your eyeballs. Impressive.

Saying Cheese

Washing your hands

Eating yogurt: that's Princess Amber, upside down, serving as your spoon. 

*the post ends here like this. I'm going to leave it as is. I'm sure I was waiting for Miriam to screw up some other simple task and provide more content for the post. And while I'm sure she did do that, I completely forgot what I was doing and here we are. xo

Miriam the Cat Whisperer

Deo hates children. I'm not exactly sure why since he's bigger than all of them and could definitely take them. It probably has something to do with the physical exertion required to fight them off or run away. 

But today there was a huge breakthrough. He and Miriam had a moment! Became friends even. 

They walked off together with a silent, new understanding between them. 

Awwwwwwwww ❤️

Say Cheeeeeese

I was trying to snap a photo of G and was asking her to say cheese. Miriam walked into the shot saying cheese over and over again. Behold: Chubby cheeks in all their glory!

Also, Georgina's really giving off an Ace Ventura vibe with this outfit 

For your reference:

Hansel and Gretel

You know the story where a witch builds a house out of candy to lure children in so she can eat them? Well something similar but way less sinister is happening over at my in-laws. 

It started with a swing set. Pretty basic stuff. But the kids went nuts over it and hours turned to days spent on that. 

Then they bought a water table (a table you fill with water that the children can splash around in without getting wet, Morgan). Nothing too extraordinary but its irresistible to little ones. 

My beautiful niece, Breanne, playing so sweetly with Miriam. 

It isn't just the toys though. Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel, they use candy to lure the children in. Georgina even calls Jan Chocolate Grandma. Actually. 

Are those gummy bears ontop of each sandwich? you ask. Yes. Yes they are. 

They really stepped up their game when they bought the cottage playhouse. Jan says, "Costco can see us grandparents coming a mile away". No kidding. 

Rocks for a floor making all of Miriam's dreams come true. 

But then the real game changer happened this summer. They took it to a whole new level.

The unsuspecting children wandered right into the trap...

Bah-bah-BAH!!! A pool?!?! AH-mazing. 

And it comes filled with cousins!

Georgina wasn't too thrilled with actually getting in the water at first 

But with some awesome hands-on encouragement she soon become a little fish. 

Look at them so proud of themselves; a plan come together. They certainly know what they're doing. On second thought, it's more like A Field Of Dreams. If you build it, they will come. 

Careful, Jan and Bryan, anything more and you'll have to accept that your grandchildren will become permanent residents. 

Or your children for that matter.

We love you. I am one lucky daughter-in-law with even luckier children. xoxo

My Daughter Looks Like Alan Jackson

A Note: This post was written a long time ago for another blog. A blog with a tasteless name according to my parents. A blog that shall not be named. I've moved it over to Georgina and Miriam to share with more people. And because my kids aren't really generating much content this week so I'm forced to recycle. Enjoy! Or if you read it already on that other seedy blog, enjoy again!

Georgina has had some rotten luck in the hair department.

She started off with very little, resembling George Costanza. Look at all that forehead. We still call her George to this day.

just terrible....
And when it finally did come in it resembled more and more like a country singer's bad haircut.... at least it wasn't George Costanza??

Dead ringer for Keith Urban

The Billy Ray period was brief but no less disconcerting

And finally her metamorphosis was complete when she reached Alan Jackson, circa Chattahoochee, level. (This description was first made by my sister. Sorry G, blame Auntie Morgan).
The worst part about all this is Alan Jackson, circa Chattahoochee, wasn't the low point. The low point came when she was having a bangs-in-her-face problem so I brought her to the hair dresser and with all her talents, the hair dresser did this

Blunt cut across her forehead from ear to ear. Nice. Let's get a better look.

Jagged and uneven. 

Look at that depth. She literally gets it halfway to the back of G's head. And don't think this was a twitchy toddlers fault. My daughter is close to impossible on almost all matters but she behaves like an angel when in a barber's chair. Probably something to do with a complete stranger holding a weapon-like object up to her face....

To resolve this problem we resorted to this

Ya, that oughta do it.

**Update: Since this post Georgina has had better luck in the hair department and for the most part has a pretty stylish coiffe.... for the most part.